Reflections on Stardust, Starlight
Light and space and love. Those were the themes of Bonni’s Stardust, Starlight retreat, held in January 2025. And wow – what an excellent couple of weeks. Getting to a retreat can be a mission, and this time was no different. For me, it came sandwiched between moving houses and all the responsibilities of work and study, made even more challenging by the shifting rhythms of the New Year.
We were greeted at the centre by the pouring rain, excellent weather for practice even if it had turned much of the driveway into a slip-n-slide. It can be hard to know what to expect when signing up for a retreat, and I really didn’t know what the themes of this one were going to be. After a couple of days of settling in, everything became clearer as Bonni introduced the main practices we would be working with.
For me, so much of this retreat felt like learning how to meditate again for the first time. There were new objects of attention, new visualisations, new sensations. There were some truly terrible sits, and there were some truly excellent ones. The evening group sits were particularly special, mostly held on the lawn outside the Whare Wānanga when the weather cooperated. It feels impossible to describe the experience of holding a sparkling, radiant light within oneself, and a walk through the forest afterwards – the sun getting close to the horizon, and everything bursting with the same magnificent radiance.
It’s difficult to reconcile this kind of experience with everything else going on in the world. This retreat felt like an especially potent couple of weeks for those of us at the centre, and yet we were all aware of Donald Trump’s inauguration which was happening at the same time. My usual response is just to stare in horror at it all. And yet, perhaps the retreat wouldn’t have been as intense, as wonderful, without ‘everything else going on’. I don’t know – in any case, the need to train the mind feels more important and urgent than ever.
Any kind of contact with the dharma refreshes a motivation I have at the centre of my being, a motivation to greet every experience – no matter how excellent or terrible – with kindness and interest. I usually fail at this. But this retreat gave so many opportunities to practice, to see again and again what’s possible for the heart and mind. These qualities weren’t just expressed on the cushion. It was inspiring to see how much care the Wangapeka received from the group, it became more beautiful by the day.
While the shimmering lights feel further away now that I’ve been immersed in the practicalities of work and of setting up a new home, they don’t feel quite as far as they did pre-retreat. With gratitude for Bonni, Matthew, Jane, and all the retreatants who made Stardust, Starlight such an expression of positivity for us all.